John3Thirty

Qualifications of Elders: Part V

Paul commands that the elders of the church are to be the “husband of one wife.” This qualification has caused much contention and in our day of easy divorce it can be one of the greatest hurdles to finding qualified men. Some have interpreted this passage (in ascending severity) as disqualifying the polygamist, disqualifying the divorced who remarry, disqualifying the divorced even without remarriage, disqualifying remarried widowers. All of these share one trait, they are attempts to apply this positive passage negatively. Paul is not saying what the potential elder will not do, but what he will do.

The phrase husband of one wife is better translated as “one woman man” or “faithful and true to one woman” (Strauch 1995:192). The phrase (with the genders reversed) is found again in 1 Timothy 5:9 where the qualifications for supported widows includes being “faithful to her husband” (NIV). The phrase here is “wife of one husband.” This helps us understand how to interpret this passage.

 Widowers

If Paul meant that the elder could only be married once in his life, then the widow could only be married once if she were to be supported in old age. Paul commands young widows to remarry rather than being enrolled n the church’s support network. What if her second husband died? This did happen. If he meant to bar remarried widows from receiving support, his command leaves these younger women potentially destitute. There is no reason to believe that women, whom Paul has ordered to remarry, would be disqualified from support after the death of their second husband. In the same way men are not disqualified from serving as elders by remarrying after the death of a spouse.

Polygamy

We know Paul was not referring to polygamy among potential elders because he gave the widows (women) the same command. The practice of multiple husbands (polyandry) was unknown to them, only being seen in a handful of cultures worldwide. If plural marriage was intended then why use this construction in speaking to women? Don’t take this to mean that Paul permitted the elders to be polygamous. It is impossible to be a “one woman man” faithful to one woman and be married to multiple women—so monogamy is to be assumed. In most of the cultures of Paul’s time plural marriage had died out. Polygamy is only of value in an agricultural setting where a family needs to raise up a large number of children to work the land or herds. Once a people become urban dwellers, large numbers of mouths become a liability. Even though there were no laws forbidding plural marriage and the Torah permitted it, the practice was limited in their day so Paul saw no need to address it in any of his writings. Jesus had already done this among his followers in the Sermon on the Mount. Why would Paul never address polygamy anywhere in any letter and then suddenly bring it up here?

Divorce and Remarriage

Can a divorced man serve as an elder? Since this qualification is also given for deacons it is important that we know because how we answer it will determine who serves in the only two church offices: elders and deacons. If we apply this more harshly than intended then we have needlessly impeded God’s servants and placed an unnecessary hindrance on the church. If we apply it too loosely then we have allowed leaders who scripture would bar.

Before looking at divorce in relation to leaders we must look at it in general. There are those who believe that any remarriage is forbidden. They will quote Jesus teaching in Matthew to support this:

• Matthew 5:32, “But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become and adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.”
• Matthew 19:9, “I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

These passages speak plainly for themselves, but we must remember to interpret scripture with scripture. If any other passages touch on the area of divorce and remarriage we must bring them into the discussion. Paul addresses this issue from a different perspective in 1 Corinthians chapter 7.

• 1 Corinthians 7:10f, “To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.”
• 1 Corinthians 7:11-15, “To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): if any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. . . . But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.”

In the last passage, Paul says that a believer abandoned by an unbelieving spouse is not bound. What binding is he speaking of? He is referring back to the command binding a divorced person to remain unmarried or be reconciled. The way he introduced it ties it to verses 8-11. He writes three teachings on marriage: “to the unmarried and widows” in verses 8 and 9, “to the married” in verses 10 and 11, and “to the rest” in verses 12 to16. The rest addressed in the last passage are part of the married, but separated from them by their special circumstance—marriage to unbelievers.

I say all this to answer an important question: does scripture allow divorce and remarriage? Jesus permitted remarriage in the case of sexual unfaithfulness and Paul permitted it for believers abandoned by an unbelieving spouse. So, is Paul speaking of divorce and remarriage in 1 Timothy 3? Is he forbidding those who have been divorced and remarried from serving as an elder? There is no reason to claim this was his intention. His intention is that the elder be blameless (the criteria for all listed qualifications) in his relationship with women in general and his wife specifically.

Attempts to make this command more prescriptive than descriptive are problematic. Why is it that a man abandoned by an unfaithful wife is seen as less qualified than the convert who, after living with a dozen women over his life, is qualified to lead God’s church because he only married one of these women?

Conclusion

The issue is blamelessness. Is the man blameless in his relationship with his wife? This is far more than marriage or divorce. Such a man does not fantasize about other women, seeing them instead as sisters and mothers (1 Timothy 5:2). He avoids pornography and when talking to other women, he looks at her face instead of her breasts. He does not flirt and avoids even emotional intimacy with any woman other than his wife. Such a man is an example for any in the church to follow. Indiscretion in his younger life does not disqualify because maturity and sanctification are cumulative processes taking years. The potential leader is to be examined by where he is now, not where he was. To simply say that all divorce and remarriage disqualifies is to ignore the present work of God in the lives of candidates, to take the passage far beyond the intention of the author and to rob the church of leaders that God has worked hard to purify.

The elder of God’s church is to be an example to follow for all the men of the church in the area of his marriage.